‘I need a wee Mum’

'I need a wee Mum'

Now me being a seasoned minder of kids and with four grandchildren to testify to that
I could so relate to this little girl out shopping with her Mum.

Kids are usually excited to go shopping. But often, beneath those big bright eyes, toothless smiles and faces of pure angel innocence, there bides one crafty little mind already working miles ahead of your own, as slowly they begin to think and scheme and to hatch their little plans!

Okay they say to themselves…If I behave at least until we get there, then just maybe I can swing this outing in my favour?”

And so they try their best not to whinge as you put on their warm winter coat with the zip that does up over their mouths, just so they don’t get frost bite in the arctic conditions of the local high street!
Then on goes the hat (frequently a stupid hat by the way. One with rabbit ears maybe or with an angry creatures face stitched onto it…or sometimes even dinosaur scales?? )
Then it’s the gloves.
Again often multi coloured and in an array of styles? And to round this all off, there’s the boots or indeed the boots and anything else you feel they definitely could not survive without at the time.

Then your off, you’re away, headed for the town.

However within minutes of arriving and parking up the car, or getting off the public transport, you are at the complete control of this small persons will. You did have a plan but sadly so did they!
And so, the the battle of the wills begins as this little person implements plan A.

You say something like;

“Now mummy has just got to pop into the bank first darling then over to the chemist for your brothers prescription, oh and I need to go over to the pound shop as well”
But if you’re good we can go and get a milk shake and something to eat in McDonald’s later okay? How does that sound?”

“But I need a wee Mum”

“Sweetheart you went before we left home, the loos are miles away, their right at the top of town darling. Can you just hang on a little while…please!?”

“But I need a wee now though Mum”

“Oh please babes, don’t play me up, we will be there soon okay?… I promise”

At this stage plan B is skill-fully introduced.

Suddenly the tears begin to well up as seen in the photograph above. They heavily spill over and are now streaming down her face. This is reinforced by the snotty running nose.
Usually at this point people are beginning to stare as the child becomes almost uncontrollable and is now shouting
“MUUUM (sniff sniff cough!)

MY FEET HURT AND I REALLY DO NEED A WEE NOW!”

Endeavouring to maintain a calm exterior you retort with “Nearly there darling. Would you like mummy to carry you?”

The child is suddenly swung up onto your shoulder from street level. Now elevated and no longer having to walk, amazingly the sobbing begins to subside… at least a little.

Everything is now in place and they are ready to implement plan C.

“Oh look mum…there’s Mc Donald’s over there, they might have a toilet Mum? It’s just there look mum over there look, do you see?”

“Okay darling let’s go in there first then shall we?”

“But can I have my milkshake mum? Can I mum…please?”

“Yes okay let’s get you to the toilet first though shall we?”

“Okay mummy…I love you!”

Game set and matched I believe?

6 thoughts on “‘I need a wee Mum’

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